Jill Aycock
Parenting for His Purpose - Week 1
by Jill Aycock on November 10th, 2016


Welcome! I am Jill Aycock… Thank you all for joining me on this journey. I have been praying about this day since January…  I am so excited that God has put the subject of parenting so heavy on my heart. It’s scary, it’s not easy and I don’t think we are ever done parenting this side of heaven. I have 4 kids… Carter is a 15 years old, Walker is 13 years old, Anderson is 11 and ReeseKathryn is 9.
 
Cody is the rock in our family… I won’t mention how old he is. I will tell you he’s younger than me… but I always refer to him as my Moral Compass… he is an old soul and I am so blessed to call him mine!

As many of you know, I am just a mom with 4 kids living in this neighborhood… I have a great husband named Cody who probably is the one who should be up here. He is the calm focused one on our partnership… I am the one who loses my mind when I find clean laundry shoved in the bottom of the dirty hamper… It isn’t pretty!
 
There is something I want to be clear about…  I am NOT going to stand up here and tell you how to have a perfect family and perfect kids.…. We are certainly not perfect… No one is and if you have a friend that you think has a perfect marriage, a perfect house and perfect kids… Get some new friends girls… they are also perfect liars too. We need friends who we can be real with and share our struggles with. The world tells us we aren’t good enough through social media and television, we don’t need friends making us feel worse.
 
 
 
We all have issues… we all have laundry rooms full of dirty laundry and kid with crap shoved under their beds or in their closet… or like mine… they just prefer to leave it on the floor…. We all have issues…
 
They just have different faces and are different ages… So if you are here for a step by step… you are in the wrong place…
 
During these next 4 weeks we are going to focus on more on the type of parent God wants us to be, not what kind of parents we think we should be..
 
 
God has been telling me for many years that I need to be honest with my struggles in life and in parenting and also how He has changed me and worked on me in the last 16 years…
 
How He continues to challenge me to dig deeper into the scriptures to learn more about Him and how he wants me to live my life…
 
I could have never stood before you 16 years ago when we were starting our family and say I WILL GROW GODLY CHILDREN! That wasn’t my goal
 
 
Back then, my number one goal was to figure out how I could get this baby to sleep through the night… Number one goal. I love to sleep and I wanted my baby to sleep too!!! I probably stressed out about a schedule about 6 months into my pregnancy, probably about the time I started to not sleep well… I was neurotic… I am a woman… I like to be in control of everything…
 
When I was pregnant with Carter almost 16 years ago God blessed me with some people who introduced us to
“Growing Kids God’s way.” That is the series Cody and I use with our infants and toddlers.  I believe Dr. Ezzo changed the name and they are now called Baby Wise, Toddler Wise, Preschool Wise, Preteen Wise…  Teen Wise… Although I  didn’t agree 100 percent with everything he had to say… most of it was great advice. For instance, he didn’t believe in pacifiers... but this nursing mother did.
 
So as we go through this study, I don’t expect you to agree with everything I am saying, I am honestly just sharing my story… Everyone has their own story. Many of  you are ahead of me in the parenting journey. Some may have college kids…. Good job mama and some of you may be in the trenches of the toddler years. Good luck mamas… None of this is easy!
 
 
We need to be real. This is the hardest job we will ever take on and the most important.  We can always go to work for another company, but we only get one shot with our kids….
 
This needs to be the priority in our lives and if you have never thought that this is what God put you on this earth for… think again. He has trusted us with these kids, they are a gift… it was not a coincidence that you are parents to your children and if you aren’t putting His children as a high priority, in my opinion… you need to change your priorities.
 
 
I don’t mean priority like helicopter mom… or worse lawnmower parent…. Trust me, we will get to those in a few weeks… I am saying your priorities should be God and what he is doing in your life.
 
God, husband and then children… That’s how we need to do it… Everyone needs to know their place… Tell God he is number 1, talk to him, pray to him… become friends with him… tell  your spouse they are number 2, I would suggest a gentle tone and to find the right time, you guys are a team. You need to have a strong foundation for your kids. You want to have the type of marriage that will make your children want to get married… We call it Team Aycock…  and then please tell your children they are number 3… 4 or 5 depending on who is acting crazy that day… They need to know their place… Children need to know they are not the center of your universe. God is. They need to know that they are loved and a priority, but this world does not revolve around them.  We don’t need to be raising children who have never heard the word NO and think everyone is here to serve them. This doesn’t create secure children; this creates  children who are clueless on how the real world works.
 
 About 8 years ago a group of friends of mine were talking about the stresses of raising young kids and our hopes and dreams for them…
 
I was concerned when most of the said they wanted their kids to just be happy, to be well liked by their peers and do well in school so they could get into a good college…
 
UH, NO… My number one goal is not to have happy children… (sounds harsh)
 

My number one goal as a parent is for them to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior….  I want them to be Godly, first and foremost. I don’t care about their social status; I just don’t, it may be important to them, not me… I would prefer them to have just a few friends who are like-minded and will help them grow in their faith….  
 
                                         
Teach them, John 13:34… As I have loved you, Love one another.
 
I believe our children need to be the light in this world and I pray others see Jesus in my children…. I don’t want them to see a self-centered popular kid who puts himself above others and doesn’t have a good character… NO, I want them to see Jesus. I want my kids to love others like Jesus loves them and I want others to love Jesus because they see how it changes people and changes lives.
 
 
It has always been important to me that my children weren’t annoying to adults and I do want their peers to enjoy being around them… but that’s not my main goal… I pray for my children everyday… for their future spouses and for God’s plan in their life.
 
He will decide who will be their friends, who will and will not think they are annoying and  how and where they go to college, not me…. My number one goal is not that they are happy… my number one goal as a parent is that my child is a follower of Christ.
 
I want my precious children to know their Heavenly Father… Really know Him. Only He can give them the things they need… not me.
 
I am not sure everyone knows that I am employed here at the Harvest. I have 2 titles. One is the Director of Discipleship and the other is The Assistant to the Senior Pastor… I am around Jeff McDowell…. All Day almost everyday… and one of the perks of my job is that I get to ask him all the theological questions and just stupid questions I want… whenever I want… and most of the time he isn’t in a position to ignore me… although at times, I think he would prefer not to share office space with me… but I digress…
 
Jeff and I have talked extensively about me not wanting my children to be happy. He says I am wrong… He says I want them to be happy but I know only through aligning their lives with Christ will they ever find true happiness. (He is so good….)
 
 God can only fill the “God Hole” we all have in our hearts. We live in a broken world and we try to fill it with everything but God… We try to put things in there and people in there that will make us happy.
 
We try to fill our own hearts with great marriages, awesome jobs, big houses, great friends, expensive cars… We all have our “fix.” I went through a time in my life that I escaped the craziness of  the toddler years with retail therapy… It fixed nothing… There was always something else to buy… something cuter , something I just HAD TO HAVE!
 
The hole was empty again.
 
The good news thought is that our hearts are never empty when we put God first in our lives and only try to fill the hole with Him… God wants us to live an abundant life… that  is Mathew 6:33

 
Mathew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
 
He just wants us to seek him first and then we need to trust Him to provide everything we need… Including the wisdom to raise His children the way He sees fit. He is the secret. You just have to listen to what He wants
 
 My goal for these next 4 weeks is to share my struggles and victories of my experience in parenting. I feel God blessed me with 4 amazing children. I certainly don’t deserve them but I have always looked at them as gifts from God… I have tried to focus on treating them just like that,  a gift… These are God’s children who He is allowing me to be their earthly parent… but I will one day have to give them back and I want to be able to stand before God and tell him I did everything I could in my power to raise them the way He saw fit.
 
 
As part of understanding my struggles and successes, I feel I need to share my story/testimony with you.
 
Many people in this room already know it and some of you even walked beside me and prayed for me during the darkest time of my life,
 
You see I knew from a very young age I always wanted a big family. Actually I wanted 4 or 5 boys… ReeseKathryn has had her feelings hurt when she hears me say this, but truth be told, I want a house full of dirty smelly athletes with minimal drama… And of course I thought when we decided to start a family, I would get what I want when I wanted. But God had different plans for us.
 
In the 8 years of childbearing I had 7 pregnancies. I had a miscarriage at 11 and half weeks 2 months before our first anniversary. The loss was devastating. We hadn’t planned to start a family just  7 months after we got married but that was what happened.
 
So after losing my first baby I was bound and determined to have a baby…. And we were blessed just 10 months later with our first born, Carter.
 
Life was great!  All things were going smoothly until he was about 10 months old and I got pregnant again… they said I couldn’t get pregnant while nursing…LIARS!!  But with this pregnancy, I miscarried just 3 days after I found out I was 5 weeks along. So again, I wasn’t expecting a baby but now that I had lost one… I WANTED ONE now… It took us 6 months of  trying and we were blessed with him the day before Carter turned 2.
 
So, although when I say my children are 2 years apart and it sounds so organized… this was quite the roller coaster God had us on and it was about to get crazier…
 
 
 
Because sometimes I don’t learn my lesson the first time, I again got pregnant while nursing Walker. But this pregnancy was different and Cody will tell you that I said that from day on. However, I had no idea just how different it was. In May of 2004 I went in for our 20 week ultrasound and because we thought this was our last pregnancy and we had not found out the sex of our first two babies, we wanted to see what it was like to find out the sex at 20 weeks… When we went in the baby would not cooperate, or that is what the ultrasound tech told us. She did the scan for about 45 minutes and said her best guess what that I was having a girl, but it was just a guess. No matter… what we were thrilled… after 2 boys we were very excited to maybe having a girl… But later that night when we received a call from our doctor, our lives changed forever. We were brought to our knees harder than any other situation in our lives.
 
The truth was that the radiologist was very concerned that the baby wouldn’t cooperate for 45 minutes and barely moved. They weren’t sure why, so we had an appointment with an OB specialist and genetic specialist… it was devastating news. However, I am a glass half full kind of girl and I believe in a God who has the power to heal all… But after weeks of scans, MRI’s and an amniocentesis, the doctors decided our precious Kennedy Elizabeth would never live outside my womb. They said they were surprised her heart was still beating. She had a chromosome anomaly they had never seen before and they were clueless to what the outcome would be.
 
 
They might have been clueless…. But I was not… I knew the only thing I could do at this point was to turn to God. I laid on my floor and cried out to God everyday and night begging him to save my baby… but through all tears and all the begging, God told me he had different plans, He wasn’t going to save Kennedy, he was going to save me through her.
 
On June 4th, 2004 I gave birth to a stillborn sweet baby girl that changed my life forever. I would never be the same again.
 
I would never be the same type of mother, wife, friend or more importantly Christian because of a loss I couldn’t imagine. But I was bound and determined not let the loss of my baby girl stop me from being better. I mourned her loss for a long time and I still cry when I think of her, but 12 years later, I can be thankful for that experience. I am thankful for a God that knows my heart and knows my world and knows that not giving me what I ask for is sometimes the best plan for me.
 
I believe God could have healed Kennedy and I believe she would be a 12-year old 6th grader at Baines Middle School if He thought that was best for me… But God knew my faith would not change and I would not change and I would not be able to be the mother he has called me to be if he had said YES, God said No to me for my own good…. And I was devastated.
 
I would have liked it both ways… I wanted to keep my baby and change. I wanted not have to talk to a funeral home and bury a baby at 32 years old… I did not want to feel the pain I felt and sometimes still feel… I have never gotten over losing Kennedy, but I have gotten better.
 
 
I have parented my children different, I lived my life different but it wasn’t an overnight fix. After losing her, I drank too much to dull the pain; I obsessed over things that were not important to get my mind off her… It was a process… it still is, but I can tell you I am thankful… I thank God for doing what He knew was better and I know when I die and go to heaven, Kennedy Elizabeth will be waiting for me… But while I am here, I am going to do everything in my power so that she gets to meet all three of her brothers and sweet little sister….
 
So like I said, happiness is not our goal, this is not our home. We should not be raising kids to be happy on earth, we need to be raising kids who have their lives aligned with Christ, so they will ultimately be happy and we will be able to live in eternity with them FOREVER…
 
SO now, the big question is… How do we do this? How do we raise children to be Christ Like?
 
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I honestly believe we start with ourselves… When we think about how we want our children to act, what do we think about? Have we ever had a role model for our children in this world? Have you ever looked at other children in your circle and said… That is who I want my child to be…
 
Have you ever done anything about the way your child will turn out?
 
I believe we can do all the wishful thinking and hoping, nagging and finger pointing  we want to…  but until we get on our knees and ask God what He wants us to do with these children, we are going to lose.
 

The bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6…
“Train up a child in the way he should go;
Even when he is old he will not depart from it”
 
It doesn’t say, Cross your fingers and your child will follow Jesus, Hope your child has good character, Wish for your child to be honest… it says TRAIN!!!
 
 We need to have a plan. We need to have expectations. We need to have guidelines, for ourselves and for our children. If we are just wondering around this planet hoping our children will turn into an awesome adult, chances are you aren’t not going to end up with the awesome adult that you could have had if you had a plan.
 
 
I just had a discussion with my brother in law who has 4 grown children. He told me if I thought my job was done when they get into college I was sadly mistaken…. He says you never stop being a parent; so don’t wish for the best.
 
We have got to be intentional and we need to intentionally start with the way we act. They are looking to us for what to do and how to act.
 
Think about your own childhood… who did you look up to? What did you think was normal? Your parents? Your Grandparents? Your neighbors? We all had role models when we were children.
 
I, for example thought my parents were super normal… they were all I knew. My dad ran a business, my mom worked for him and she ran our household. That was normal. We went to church at Christmas and Easter… normal.
 
I had nothing else to compare it to until I was much older. I didn’t even know I was supposed to have my own relationship with Christ. It was never modeled. We only went to church a few times a year… I thought that was the plan. I thought everyone did what we did. We didn’t talk much about God in the house I was raised in. It wasn’t intentional; I think my parents just had a hard time communicating what faith looked like. They didn’t have parents who molded Christianity to them so how were they supposed to model it for us?
 
 
We need to talk to our kids about God. I know it’s hard sometimes, but in Deuteronomy the bible says we should be talking about God all day everyday. He says we should love our God with all our heart and all our soul and all our strength.

 
Deuteronomy 6:6–7
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
 
 
God wants us to be talking to our kids about Him all the time. He wants us to make it normal for them…
 
So what are we modeling for our children? What are we showing them that is normal?
 
Are we kind? Honest? Loving? Do we cuss in front of them do we party in front of them? What are we showing them is normal?
 
This is tough. It’s not always great to look in the mirror… but we all need to do it and we all have things we need to change…
 
It is a journey we are on…. If you aren’t changing, you aren’t growing in Christ.
 
Most of our children are never going to act better than their parents act until probably their late 20’s, early 30’s… depending if you are raising girls or boys. Boys don’t fully develop their brain until 25, so I am thinking maybe closer to 40… but a mom can dream.
 
Our kids' look to us for how they should act, when they should be kind, what they should say and what we should not say…. I discovered this in my early years of motherhood when Carter was still in a highchair. He was just learning to feed himself and when he accidently dropped his food on the floor… he did a perfect impersonation of me saying OH SHIT… with like, THE perfect inflection I had apparently used a time or two when I didn’t think he was listening. That was the moment as a mother I learned to watch my mouth… To this day I don’t cuss in front of my children, I know several of you find this very  hard to believe… but I realized that if I don’t want my kid cussing, they can’t hear me doing it.
 
 
And through the years, that is what I have also learned about my behavior. I am not just living my life; I am modeling a life for my kids. Whatever I do they think is normal… We are the standard for parents for our kids… good or bad.
 
That is what we have to decide. What do we want to model for our kids?
 
I don’t know about you, but after 15 years of parenting Carter, I am not sure he’s every listened to one word I have said, but I can guarantee you he has watched the way I treat others, treat Cody and what I do to put God first in my life.
 
 
In fact, just this summer he told me I don’t tell him anything... WEIRD, I feel like I have been lecturing him for about 13 years… I tell him stuff all the time. I am full of advice... Mostly unsolicited and rarely ever taken to heart, but although he doesn’t listen to me, but I am aware that my children are watching me at all times.
 
I mentioned he is 15… so
 
We are teaching him to drive right now, and he informed me that I rarely fully stop at stop signs… WHAT??? Yes I do!!!
 
Uh No I don’t…. after he told me that I noticed I roll through 2 stop signs that I go through every day leaving Sienna. He was right and he was just watching me… never did I ask him to watch me drive. Never did I say, look at how I do this driving thing. But for years he watched me drive and as he became more interested in driving himself he started noticing how I drive….
 
 
I now make a point to stop at all stop signs, NEVER text, even at red lights and I try to leave my phone in my console and make it a point that he sees me putting it in the console.
 
 
If we want great kids, we need to be great adults. We need to start living the way we are suppose to live, we are to start putting others before ourselves, we are to put God first in our lives and if we do all this, our children will most likely follow… They will think it’s normal!
 
One of my favorite saying of this is “Caught, Not Taught.” We need to be living in a way that we are getting caught doing great things by our children. If you want your child to read the bible, make sure they see you reading your bible… If you want your children to volunteer in the community, volunteer yourself. If you want your child to be kind to others… Be Kind… Be Honest it’s very simple in theory…
 
 Most of my kids have great manners… most of the time. This is a result of both Cody and I reminding them about 45 Zillion times… If they asked for something and didn’t use manners, we made them wait 5 minutes to ask again.
 
But other than being reminded a zillion times,  I think they have good manners because it has been modeled to them by their father. Cody has always used the words please and thank you when asking our children to do something,,,, even in anger he will say please… it’s almost bizarre to me. When I was a kid and I was told to do something , it was an order. But not Cody. That man will be in full force yell mode and still drop a please… I have no proof, but I do believe
it has helped. He modeled what he wanted to see in his kids…
 
This is what we need to do with everything. We need to show them what a man or woman of character looks like… We need to model honesty. We need to be kind to everyone. We need to show them that everyone matters and that it is better to put others before themselves.

As a woman I have always been fascinated with the Proverbs 31 woman… I said fascinated because I thought she was a just a figure of some man’s imagination of the perfect wife… and friends… that is not me, not even close!
 
But as I began to study this scripture I realized a woman wrote this scripture for her son.  It has also been suggested that the son in Proverbs 31 is King Solomon, receiving advice from Bathsheba, wife of King David. She was telling Solomon how to be a good ruler in the first part of the scripture and then describes the perfect wife for her son…. Now that is something I can get behind. So when I read it again, I thought… YES YES AND YES…. I want all 3 of my daughter in laws to be just like her!!! I also would like my daughter to be that kind of wife… but I never thought I personally could measure up.
 
Let’s turn to our bible and read it… I will put it overhead… but ya’ll I love my bible.. I love the fact that it’s God’s word and  I love the pages… That is some special paper. I also love to hear a room full of bibles turning… so if you didn’t bring yours today, make sure you bring it next time.
 
Proverbs 31
The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.
 
Jewish legend says that Lemuel is Solomon, Lemeul means "(belonging) to God;, a symbolic name of Solomon: -Lemuel…. So there you have it. Love how smart people can figure that out… Anyway. I believe Bathsheba is speaking to her son Soloman.
 
Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
    Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
 
Do not spend your strength[a] on women,
    your vigor on those who ruin kings.
 
It is not for kings, Lemuel—
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    not for rulers to crave beer,
 
lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
    and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
 
Let beer be for those who are perishing,
    wine for those who are in anguish!
 
Let them drink and forget their poverty
    and remember their misery no more.
 
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
 
Speak up and judge fairly;
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.
 
 
Preach it Bathseba…. She doesn’t want her son to be a drunk king who put his people down. She wants him to be an upstanding kind of King. One who stands up for the weak and defends the poor… She wanted a good kid!
 
 She was setting standards for her King Son… She knew how she wanted him to act and rule his country and made those expectations very clear.
 
As my kids get older, I am feeling like I have to say things out loud that should be common sense. In the beginning of the summer, I told my 9th and 7th grader…. Alright boys just to be crystal clear, we will NEVER allow illegal drugs or underage drinking in our home… Of course they looked at me like I had 2 heads and said…. DUH! But I just wanted them to know what the rules are. I also told them they will be randomly drug tested…. Not because I thought they were getting stoned but I wanted to give them a tool when the peer pressure got too much for them and they could blame it on their lame parents. At this point, Carter let me know it was called getting High… Thanks for the drug lesson,15 year old..  I grew up in the 80’s, I know the terms…. Anyway... this is an important rule for us. I wanted to make sure the expectations were crystal clear…
In fact I came up with a list of expectations of my children.
 
20 EXPECTATIONS FOR THE AYCOCK KIDS
 
I will respect my parents
I will not yell
I will not throw anything in anger
I will not punch anyone or anything in anger
I am allowed to be mad but not disrespectful
I will not take food upstairs
I will get myself to school on time
I will help around the house
I will make my own lunch
I will try my hardest in school
I will take responsibility for my mistakes and not blame others
I will pick up after myself, keep my room clean and keep zones clean
I will limit my time on technology
I will be responsible when using technology
I will do my own laundry
For every 10 minutes I am late, I will be grounded a day
I will not negotiate a time to be home after I have left our home
I will not be at anyone’s home unless there is an adult home or I have permission
I will not drink or do drugs or be around people who are drinking or doing drugs
I will not cuss or do anything else in public that would embarrass my family



Some of these are not new, some of these I just made up. Cody thought they were going to hate me for all my rules, but as I went through them with my boys… again, I got a DUH! I have been very clear about what we expect around here. But as they get into their foggy manipulative teen years, I really wanted something in print… that they could sign… 
And Cody was wrong, they didn’t hate me, they really weren’t impressed with my list. They had known all the rules their entire lives… However, they did fight me on number 6… the food upstairs; which I find disgusting and would not budge on, so they can sneak it and get in trouble… if that’s how they want to play the game.
 
But I will be sticking with my expectations and probably changing a few and adding  a few as the years go by… I am not inflexible; I am just someone who wants clear-cut expectations. I think it’s important to talk to our kids about what we expect. I think sharing this next part of Proverbs with our kids is a good thing too. I think they need to study these verses as well. Girls need to strive to be like this and our boys need to look for these qualities in a wife.
 
 
OK… now onto be the Wife of Noble Character… Listen up girls.
 
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
We are precious in God’s sight… we are priceless to him
 
Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
 
She puts him right after God in her life.. She is an honoring wife. She love him, she trusts him
 
She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
 
She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
 
She owns a business and contributes to the family…. I thought  women back in the old days jus stayed home and swept the rocks… judgy, I know. A strong women is contributing to the family
 
 
She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
 
She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 
She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
 
This woman is not slouch… She is a business woman. I know working moms sometimes feel like they can’t do it all but we are called to contribute, to help, to get up early, to make breakfast for our family.
 
In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
 
She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
 
She volunteers her time
 
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
 
She is prepared… she is a planner… she knows winter is coming because her family is a priority.
 
She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
 
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
 
She has helped him become the best he can be, she supports her man and helps him succeed in life… She is for him.
 
She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
 
Again, she is working and doing her part in the family
 
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
 
She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 
She is wise, she knows God and is able to teach the lessons she has learned from the bible… She don’t worry, she has faith.
 
 
She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 
She is busy, she isn’t sitting around wasting her time on Facebook or with retail therapy, she is busy making sure her family is provided for and taken care of.
 
Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 
She has earned the respect from her family guys… We only have these kids under our roofs for 18 years. We need to have their respect and their love and our window to earn it is short.
 
“Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
 
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
 
 
That is who I strive to be…. Nowhere in the scripture does it say, she made sure her children are well liked and got into a great college. It doesn’t say she stayed up late doing their science project… It focused on being a Godly woman… someone who is focused on God and focused on being the best woman she can be…. That is what we all need to strive to be….
 
And it looks different for all of us… We are all unique, we have unique children, marriages and families… but what we all can do is align our lives with Jesus and be who He wants us to be.
 
You are probably going to ask me how and again, it is going to be different for all of us. I always suggest you start with the scriptures… if you aren’t spending time in the bible daily… start there. I have a ton of resources I am happy to share… But if you don’t have a relationship with Jesus Christ and spend time deepening that relationship, how are you going to find out what type of person He wants you to be??  Or what type of children He wants you to raise?
 
Because not matter what you think is the best you… You're wrong, unless you have asked your Heavenly Father.


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